Some time ago, I read a reflection with the above title. It went on to explain how important the first seven seconds are when we greet someone. It gave an interesting example of how powerful it is. It says when we are in the dark, we see the light before we see the carrier of the light….so true! We know the old saying that first impressions are lasting impressions. So to say we have only seven seconds to make the right first impression seems a little challenging?
When we are observing someone in a group we are aware of the verbal and non-verbal signals, and, from these signals we will decide whether we want to engage the person and learn more about them.
This also reminds us that people are doing the same to us. So what do we want to convey to others? The clues we give off are not just the visual but they are also by our voice. People respond or react to the tone and pitch of our voice. Even when we are tired, we are under pressure to remain engaged and interested in the other person. It is certainly easier to be tired or ‘off colour’ when someone knows us. Recently at a meeting, I noticed very quickly that someone was not okay. She was not joining in, not happy and smiling; I knew that it was not her. I said to her later, “You are not okay tonight?” She said, “My shoulder is killing me” So first impressions for anyone that night would not have been good. Yet you couldn’t normally have met a more loving and friendly person.
When among friends, we will be able to behave a little less ‘under pressure’ to give off the right vibes as to the person we are when things are normal.
This may seem very unfair and challenges us to always be our best and on top of things. I know for myself that I am normally smiling and happy but at times people will say to me, ‘what’s wrong with you today, are you okay”? And I have thought, ‘goodness, you can’t have a downer’.
But if it is someone you know, then you can get by and people understand, but first impressions and the other person doesn’t know your story.
Sonya Hamilton, a communications expert, says when it comes the hearing and seeing, sight is the more important and powerful sense. She writes: ‘We remember 85-90 percent of what we see, but less than 15 per cent of what we hear.’
So from my point of view, so much for trying to give good homilies! I had better look towards joy in delivery, passion and conviction of content.
You may not accept some of what I have written, but it gathers evidence when we reflect on the words of Jesus in Matt 5:16 “Let your light shine before others.” So maybe we can take that light as being our facial expressions and what they say to others.
I am sure that the expression on Jesus’ face is what stopped people in their tracks and caused them to have amazing reversals of behaviour and attitudes. His face would have radiated incredible love, warmth and kindness and people could not resist this from him.
The following would verify this. What we say accounts for 7 per cent of what people believe. How we say it accounts for 38 per cent. What they see accounts for 55 per cent. So, when it comes to communication we should not worry if we haven’t as much to say as many think. However, we can all smile and show we are interested.
Once again, we only have to take Jesus’ simple advice and ‘let our light shine’ and that can be no more than smile at someone!
Fr. Michael Morley
Parish Priest
21st November 2018
637 Words
